How I Handle Screen Time with the Kids

It's a constant internal battle right?  How much TV/video game/computer time is too much?  How do I get the kids to adhere to whatever rules I set without constantly monitoring or nagging?  I had  noticed during the summer that it was very easy for the kids to get sucked into the screens first thing in the morning and have a hard time redirecting themselves afterward.  I would be in the garage working and when I would take a break at 9 or 10AM I would go inside to find them both still in pjs  glued to the tablet and generally the little guy hadn't even fed himself breakfast yet.  (I know - some of your kids sleep until then so it doesn't sound like a big deal.  We are a house of early risers and generally my kids wake up on their own by 7:00)  Not good.

Well, about a month ago I ran across a brilliant idea (found here).  Instead of setting limits on screen time, this mom sets up a list of things the kids need to do BEFORE they spend any time on the computer or TV and once those things are done they are free to spend as much time as they want with the screens.  The beauty of the plan is that you customize your list and change them as needed so that a good chunk of the day is spent doing the items on the list if you so desire.  By putting things on the list that are likely to get the child involved in other activitiess (outside play, something artsy or creative, etc) chances are they will get wrapped up in those activities and be less likely to spend as much time on the screens anyway.

The night after I found the idea I brought it up for discussion at the dinner table.  The kids and the husband were on board and we took the time to discuss what we all thought should be included on the lists.  Kaitlyn was highly involved in the process (she's 10) while Tyler was less interested (he's 8) but both were enthusiastic to start in on the lists as soon as I got everything typed up and posted in their rooms.

 Kaitlyn wanted her lists on her bulletin board and we taped Tyler's inside the doors on his nightstand.

Kaitlyn was so excited she took the initiative and made herself and her brother duct tape organizers to hold the dry erase markers so they could be within easy reach of the lists ;)

 We had decided the format we wanted to use for the lists would be a checklist with spaces for an entire week.  To save myself from having to print and reprint the lists I inserted them in page protectors so the kids can use dry erase markers and the lists can just be wiped off when they are ready to start the next week.  We also did two lists - one for days when the kids have school and one for the days without school (weekends, summer, holidays).  The lists are fairly similar for each child, the only difference being the amount of time each needs to spend reading and things they need a little more help remembering - like Kaitlyn remembering her asthma meds and to apply deordorant in the morning while Tyler's has a reminder that playing with the dog DOES NOT mean wrestling in the living room ;) - and there is a slight difference in their daily chores.  I also divided the lists into sections for Morning, After School, and After Dinner.  My main focus was on getting them to be self-directed (especially with the daily routine/chores) along with giving them some balance between responsibilities, play, creativity, learning (reading), and exercise.

Kaitlyn's List: For Days Without School

Breakfast:  includes putting dishes in dishwasher, putting away food, wiping down counter/table where you ate

Vitamins, Medicine

Get Dressed: includes deodorant, comb hair

Brush Teeth:  with timer, rinse sink afterward and make sure towels are hanging up nicely

Make Bed

Unload Dishwasher (if it’s your day)

Feed/Water Bambi

Active:  60 Minutes

Reading:  30 Minutes

Creative/Productive (Play):  1 ½ hour

Play with Bambi

Chore(s)

Straighten up Bedroom

Clean Up Playroom

Dinner:  includes putting dishes in dishwasher, helping to clear table and put away food

Take Out Garbage

Kaitlyn's List:  For Days With School

Breakfast:  includes putting dishes in dishwasher, putting away food, wiping down counter/table where you ate, help pack lunchbox

Vitamins, Medicine

Get Dressed: includes deodorant, comb hair

Brush Teeth:  with timer, rinse sink afterward and make sure towels are hanging up nicely

Make Bed

Homework, put away lunchbox

Unload Dishwasher (if it’s your day)

Active:  30 Minutes

Reading:  30 Minutes

Creative/Productive (Play):  30 Min

Play with Bambi (not wrestling!)

Straighten up Bedroom

Clean Up Playroom

Dinner:  includes putting dishes in dishwasher, helping to clear table and put away food

Take Out Garbage

I'm happy to report that this system seems to be working really well and I have high hopes that the longer we keep at it the more self-sufficient and self-modifying my children will become.
Hey, a mom can hope, right? ;) 

My Little Entrepreneur

 My daughter loves those stretchy band loom things.  Loves them.  Loves the process of creating, experimenting with different color combinations, trying new patterns (she was quick to figure out how to YouTube tutorials by herself) and making up new designs of her own.  She discovered very quickly, as all crafters do, that there are only so many things you can make for yourself.  And as all crafters do, she started giving her creations away as gifts.

She made a lot of things for family members for Christmas, including a gift for my mom.  And my mom, being a very enthusiastic and encouraging Grandma, wore her creations to work where the middle school students she works with were quick to admire them.  Before I knew it, Grandma was taking "orders" (I'm pretty sure she is buying them herself and giving them to the kids as rewards but I'm making a point to stand back and let Kaitlyn handle all the details on her own) and emailing them to Kaitlyn, who then made a list (haha) and got to work.

 I wonder...is it learned or does it come to her naturally? ;)  Or maybe a bit of both?

She had quite a few bracelets ready to send off with Grandma's gift for Mother's Day.  And me being, well me, I asked her if she wanted to make some tags to attach them to before sending them out.  You should have seen her face light up at the idea of making her own logo.  She immediately told me she wanted a flower on it so I Googled some flower clip art and she chose one.  It was a simple matter of letting her chose a font and inserting the "designs by Kaitlyn" wording into the center before printing a bunch out on card stock.

 Turned out cute, right?  I think she has a talent for this.

 I had to push her a bit to get her to finish up the rest of the list in time to send them out before school was finished, but she did it!

Her first foray into the business world.  I can see her as CEO of some big company somewhere, can't you? ;)

The Bank of Mom and Dad

Kids and money - it's another one of those areas where we, as parents, want to pass along all our knowledge as quickly and as easily as possible.  We do the allowance thing.  And chores.  We show them how much things cost and make them save for big items.  We take them shopping and let them pay for things themselves.  But I guess we forgot to tell the little guy "don't take your money to school" because he did.  The whole $161 dollars from the last few months of allowance, Christmas, and birthday money.  I'm still not sure what he was thinking taking it all to school but luckily his teacher caught it pretty early in the day and gave me a call.  I couldn't run up to the school right then but asked her to give it to Kaitlyn and knew my super-responsible child would get it back home safely.  However, I still spent much of the day shaking my head at the thought of my child taking all of his money to school and wondering what to do about it.

I have been thinking about taking the kids to open savings accounts at the bank, but right now they are currently working hard to earn enough money to cooperatively buy themselves an Ipad.  They even went online and looked up the price for one all by themselves.  It's kind of fun to see them pull their money out and sit down and count it all then figure out how much more they need.  I really hate to take all that away from them - the fun of counting the money and holding it in their hands.  And I don't want to undo any of their hopes/expectations by declaring that we are putting X amount in the bank and that it can't be used toward the tablet.   It's too late in the game for that, right?  Then inspiration struck - why not create our own little savings account for them here at home?

 

So we created the Bank of Mom and Dad.  I hunted up some old checkbook registers and a couple of manila envelopes then printed out labels to make them look more official.  The check registers will be for the kids to track their deposits and withdrawals.  The envelopes are for me to use while I keep the cash safe (I also put another copy of the check registers in there - you know, just in case).  The only rule I have so far is that they cannot hang onto any more than $20 in their own wallets.  The rest needs to be deposited in our "bank" until they are ready to buy something, then they can withdraw the cash just before we head to the store.  The rest will evolve as we go.  I'm sure at some point we will all sit down and discuss long term savings and setting up real bank accounts.  For now, I'm just relieved I won't have to worry about the little guy deciding he wants to lose all his cash at the park next time.

PS - it is really warm this week and Tyler put on a pair of shorts today for the first time this year.  And what did we find in the pocket?  Nine dollars!  Ahahahaha...